The Sweet Peach Diner – Belmont, MA

Posted on September 29, 2014 by Sarah

This is a place I drive past every single morning on my way to work, and every time I ask myself: why the fuck am I not stopping and shoveling food into my mouth instead continuing on into the office? Luckily the traffic around there in the morning is a bitch so there’s no easy way to park and lose my job to deliciousness. I finally got there recently when Talls and I wanted to go to a new brunch place but not drive too far.

This place has excellent food, and as I said up there, fuck all for parking. There’s a tiny amount on the street, and a parking lot got the local nature reserve not too far away. If you come at a classic brunch time like 10 on a Sunday, this place is packed. We did this and ended up eating at the counter because there were no tables available, and still had a great meal. Wonderful servers, a nice set up, and great food can’t be beat.

The Sweet Peach Stuffed French Toast. It is as fantastic as it looks.

Me? Eat French toast? I know, so fucking shocking. This pile of deliciousness was jam packed with peaches, fresh whipped cream, and all around tastiness. It also came with real maple syrup, because this place knows where the hell it is: New Fucking England.

There was also bacon. A lady needs protein.

The Tallsasaurus went for something hashy, as is his wont, although this time in Eggs benedict form. It was on cornbread instead of biscuits, and was fabulous. There’s also a pulled pork benedict on their menu that I will have to try sometime.

The hash benedict. Also crazy good.

Final verdict? Get your ass over to Belmont, find some way to park, and go eat at this diner whenever you can. They know what the fuck they’re doing brunchwise, and they do it well.

Tryst – Arlington, MA

Posted on September 15, 2014 by Sarah

Tryst

Tryst is a fancy-ass restaurant in Arlington that Talls and I had avoided partly out of concern for the price and partly because on the weekend we’re jeans and t-shirt people and this doesn’t strike me as a jeans and t-shirt place. But one weekend our friend Jenn was over, and we wanted to take her to a new brunch place but not, like, have to fucking drive or something crazy. So Tryst it was. Everyone who worked there was lovely, there were no comments on our attire, and the food was great. Also, it was Restaurant Week still (I swear it lasts for a month in the Boston area. This is not a complaint.) so it was cheaper than it would have otherwise been. Bitchin’!

Every morning should start with a fancy duck taco.

Every morning should start with a fancy-ass duck taco.

There were two courses, because fucking-a Restaurant Week menu, and I went for the starter that said “duck.” Like “maple,” “french toast,” and “bacon,” “duck” is one of my go-to menu words.

Talls was crunchy granola as he tends to be.

Jenn went for a peanuty thing.

For the main course we stuck with our buzzwords, but they were all fancy and delicious so it worked out well.

Me: french toast!

Talls: huevos rancheros!

Jenn: eggs n’ meat!

Jenn and I agreed the coffee was delish, and Talls loved the juice. The atmosphere was nice, and as we were there earlier it wasn’t packed. If you want a fancy place to eat tasty food that won’t bitch you out for sipping your coffee with a pinkie out, this is your place.

The Painted Burro – Davis Square, Somerville, MA

Posted on August 18, 2014 by Sarah

The Painted Burro

I would just like to say, for the record, that this place is fucking amazing and if you do not immediately stop whatever stupid thing you’re doing right now and get your ass into one of their seats so you can get their food in your mouth, you are a useless fool. Jesus Christ on a cheese-coated unicycle they have god damn candied bacon here people! Go eat there now and read this review later. Seriously. I’ll wait.

Let's get in the mood with some fabulous art.

Let’s get in the mood for food with some fabulous art.

It’s a nice place with a great set up, and as long as the weather is nice their gigantic wall of windows is open to street. That’s right: amazing grub AND ambiance. Seriously, why aren’t you eating here RIGHT NOW!?!?

French toast: egg-dipped brioche, caramelized plantains, mascarpone whipped, maple syrup

This pile of food was fucking delicious, and not just because I am addicted to real maple syrup and will always say yes to fried plantains. The french toast under all of that was thick, fluffy, and a little crisp on the outside. Perfection!

EL MONTANERO “SUPERBEASTO”:
2 fried eggs, chorizo con papas, pork charro beans, chicharron, fried plantain, burro rice, chipotle mayo, baja cream, crispy tortilla

Talls order this pile of deliciousness and, because he is tall and has extra stomach space in his legs like all tall people (look, it’s the only logical explanation of this), HE FINISHED THE ENTIRE THING. I manage to steal like a bite and even that was dangerous. This is a well named dish.

THICK CUT BROWN SUGAR BACON

I am totally just copying directly off the menu for the descriptions because even their capitalization is apt. Eating this was seriously like eating candied meat, and it was one of the most amazing gustatory experiences of my life. I’ve never really understood wanting to eat yourself sick on something until I tasted this. The Painter Burro saved me by not putting anymore bacon on that plate. Fuck, every bite almost killed me with happiness!

To sum up: GO EAT HERE NAO!!!

The Painted Burro is perfect and you need to go eat there, stat. Look, I left a physical comment raving about this place at the restaurant, and they fucking sent me a personalized thank you email. GO THERE BITCHES.

Hell’s Kitchen – Minneapolis, MN

Posted on August 12, 2014 by Sarah

Hell’s Kitchen

This post is written by my partner Talls who was at a conference in Minnesota recently. Thanks to covering brunchiness even when I was not there to bitch about it!

Well, shit, I think this might be our kind of place.

Hell’s Kitchen, besides being a neighborhood in New York City, is also a fucking great restaurant in Minneapolis.

It’s downstairs in a mall or something, which, I don’t even care, because fuck malls and just give me the food. Luckily you can enter from the outside.

The menu has all kinds of wonderful-sounding food. Thing like cornmeal pancakes, and a ham-and-pear sandwich, and Bison Benedict, and plantains, and lots of other stuff.

Also, huge bonus: this place believes in maple syrup. Really, truly fucking believes. You get pancakes? They come with real syrup. There is Maple-Glazed Bison Sausage. Their porridge (see below) has maple syrup in it. Yes. Win.

Sparkle Motion, bitches!

Enough of the seizure sign. What did I actually fucking order?

Yeah, so, I almost forgot to take a picture.

Luckily I only got a few bites in before I was like “Shit, I require photographic documentation as evidence of this fine-ass cuisine.”

At the top: real orange juice. Delicious.

At right: Mahnomin Porridge. It’s like if some extra-sophisticated motherfucker had looked at oatmeal and said, “Hold on, guys. We can seriously class this shit up.” Wild rice instead of oats, with dried blueberries and cranberries, hazelnuts, maple syrup, and cream. Delicious. Apparently they used to have to give this shit away, which I totally wish they were still doing.

Main course: Lemon-ricotta pancakes with fresh berries and maple syrup. These are among the best pancakes I have ever had. They’re up there with Gould’s Sugar Shack, and those made people ask if I was going to cry. Fucking awesome.

It wasn’t as cheap as Al’s Breakfast, but it was just as good if not better, and it wasn’t ridiculously expensive or anything. And I didn’t wait for an hour and 15 minutes, but that’s probably because it was ass-early on a Thursday.

In summation: you should go here and eat all their tasty food. If you have the bison stuff you should tell me how it was because I totally fucking wish I had room in my stomach for that, but it was too fucking full of other delicious stuff.

Starlight Llama B and B – Northampton, MA

Posted on July 7, 2014 by Sarah

Starlight Llama Solar Bed and Breakfast

This is not a review of a brunch restaurant, but it does include brunch and a variety of animals I don’t usually include in these dispatches from the tasty food front. I will sum up the non-brunch part of this great little place by saying: the owners are great, the location is well-placed for Northampton access and other Pioneer Valley stuff if you have access to a car – which, honestly, you kind of need for the valley in general – the rooms are nice and the stars are a hell of a lot easier to gaze at than they are in Boston.

This being a bed unt breakfast, these lovely people cook as well as provide you with a place to lay your head. They are very food allergy conscious and can easily accommodate vegans as all their breks are vegetarian to begin with.

We began this meal with yogurt, fresh fruit, and granola.

Everybody gets water, OJ, and whatever hot drink you’re feeling goes with your particularly crunchiness. I of course went for coffee and Talls tried to steal my orange juice as well as drink his because it is his lifeblood.

There was a choice of muffins, I swear! My bran was sweet and delicious.

Yeah, this is another post where I was too dazzled by the food to remember to take pictures first. Look, I write a damn blog about brunch. If I wasn’t in it for the food what the fuck would I be doing here?

Scrambled omelets with cheddar and asparagus. Fuck yes!

The eggs were for all, and we all – Talls and I and two other couples who were friends and lovely people – dug in and stuffed our faces. Good eggs straight off the pan are some of the greatest things in life.

Vegan sausage. Not my fave, but pretty good.

Hmm, I promised animals didn’t I? Well, prior to the food there was the dancing pug event, and then during one of the farm’s peacocks kept shaking his tail feathers for a peahen who was not picking up what he was putting down. The llamas, donkey, big black dog of prepubescent wiggles, chickens, guinea fowl, and emus were around but not involved in the food festivities.

Johnny D’s – Somerville, MA

Posted on June 16, 2014 by Sarah

Johnny D’s Uptown Restaurant and Music Club

Johnny D’s is open both super early and super late, so if you want to randomly get your brunch on in the Somerville area this is the place to go. Also, if you have Southern or Jazz tastes, Johnny’s will meet your oddly specific wishes.

Talls and I ended up here originally because we didn’t want to wait until 11 for brunch on a Sunday. Totally fucking worth it. Every meal begins with a choice of oatmeal or grits and just gets better from there.

Grits come with a “choice” of cheese, but obviously the correct answer is YES.

When I saw the menu I had such plans! Plans for one of their delicious-sounding omelets, or maybe a hash. But then my eye strayed down to the bottom right, and I saw they had blintzes. I have a long, sordid history with blintzes that involves the S&S Deli in Inman Square fucking ruining me for a blintz anywhere else. But since I only go to the S&S with my grandfather and he died two years ago, I had been pining for their cream cheesy goodness. To hell with it! I ordered blintzes in honor of grandpa and deliciousness!

And FUCK were they good.

I also got some eggs on the side so they I had some protein. This is how I learned Johnny D’s doesn’t really do side portions.

Basically I was buried in food.

Talls helped me with my homefries whilst working on his own massive plate of deliciousness.

He went for Eggs Benedict and reported favorable flavors.

We arrived and left prior to the jazz performance that accompanies brunch after 11am every Sunday, so I can’t weigh in on the quality of the music. Still, Johnny’s is a music club so I can’t imagine it would be bad. If Jazz is your thing, of course. Regardless, the blintzes are absolute heaven, so if you also have family members you associate with them you’ll enjoy the memories along with the flavor.

Common Ground – Allston, MA

Posted on June 2, 2014 by Sarah

Common Ground

This post was a long time in the making. Long ago, I resided within walking distance of this pub/amazing land of Sunday brunch and would go way too often to revel in the amazing french toast. This was before this blog, of course, which came about as a joke between me and Talls that occurred after I moved away. Six plus months later we FINALLY got back to my old stomping grounds (Ha! Joke!) and the french toast was just as good as I remembered.

Look at this delicious motherfucker!

Caramel banana brioche french toast. This is the best fucking pile of food ever. This was the first french toast I’d ever had that didn’t need maple syrup – the amazing stuffed french toast at Veggie Galaxy was the second.

Eggs, yogurt and granola, turkey bacon, corn beef hash, and home fries.

We only go on Sundays because Super Talls likes the brunch buffet and I have it on his authority that the Saturday buffet is subpar. He does two full plates AND takes a muffin for the road, so clearly the Sunday buffet is excellent. It has everything freshly made/cut there, and I tend to steal eggs from the boy to round out my carb fest. These are also lovely.

It was a lovely day, there was no line at 11 when they open at 10, due to it being in a college student-heavy area. They sleep in late. You can always booze up with your brunch if you want here, and the coffee and orange juice are great as well. I’ve always enjoyed the waitstaff, who are at the very least competent and very often fun to talk to.

And for you crafters out there, it’s also a wonderful to do swear-oriented projects!

This post was rather clean because the cross stitch has absorbed all my swearing.

Brunch it Yourself – Coconut French Toast

Posted on May 24, 2014 by Sarah

Most of us can make a solid basic brunch at home: fry an egg, cook some bacon, burn some toast and voila! Many have also mastered the art of pancakes without Bisquick, crepes, waffles, and french toast. Are you one of the wonderful people who bakes your own muffins, folds omelettes perfectly, or makes cinnamon buns from scratch? Brunch is a pretty accessible meal, and I am here to make it even moreso. I adore going out for a fabulous brunch so much I made a damn blog about it, but I am a baker at heart and also enjoy bringing it home.

Do you want fancy, delicious french toast in your own kitchen? Awesome! It’s totally within your grasp.

Ingredients:

bread, preferably something “plain” like white, wheat, or multigrain
eggs
milk, cream, or your dairy substitute of choice
dried coconut flakes

USE ALL THE COCONUT.

Tools:

shallow bowl
plate
whisk or fork
spatula
griddle or frying pan

I use four eggs to make six pieces of coconut french toast

Set pan or griddle on stove and turn the burner on to medium to medium low heat. If your pan/griddle is non-stick, don’t worry about greasing it. If it isn’t, wait until a little water sprinkled on it sizzles and then grease with butter or veggie oil depending on your dairy tolerance.
While your griddle/pan is heating, crack eggs into your bowl and whisk together with milk/cream/dairy substitute. Place a slice of bread in bowl for soaking.
Pour a thick layer of coconut flakes on to plate.
Flip bread and soak other side.
When bread is fully soaked with egg mixture, place it on the plate and “bread” it with coconut flakes. Do the same to the other side.
When the bread is fully coconut flaked, put it on the hot griddle/pan.
Flip bread when the egg is fully cooked and then coconut is singed. This will take longer than standard french toast. Repeat for the other side.
Repeat steps 2 through 8 for each slice. Enjoy delicious coconut french toast!
For added deliciousness, eat with pineapple. The best is fresh pineapple seared on a grill, but you can also throw fresh or canned on to your griddle/pan when you’re done with your toast for tastiness as well.

On the griddle like regular french toast, just “breaded” with coconut first.

Serve with maple syrup and enjoy!

Veggie Galaxy – Cambridge, MA

Posted on May 16, 2014 by Sarah

Veggie Galaxy

Talls and I stepped off our plane from Brazil in Boston, went straight to the Silver Line (not checking bags is the greatest of things), to the Red Line, to Central Square, to have brunch here. It was amazing and delicious and entirely worth staving off jet lagged napping for. How I have avoided posting about this place I have no fucking clue, but I shall fix this oversight posthaste.

Now, Veggie Galaxy is a vegetarian restaurant. It is also a dinner. It also serves brunch all day every day. Stop botching about their lack of meat and go stuff your face with their amazing food.

Great coffee plus amazing frappe = welcome home!

Veggie Galaxy makes frappes. Really fucking good frappes. Frappes with coconut milk. We went with one of our standbys, chocolate banana. It was appropriately delicious.

Stuffed French Toast. Go read the description on their menu. It’s an orgasm on a plate.

I had the best goddamn french toast they offer, like I am wont to. Allllll of that and they give you real maple syrup without question. This place makes me forget I like bacon with breakfast. Which is good because their fake bacon (tempeh) is not so good. The seitan chorizo is a very tasty meat substitute if you’re looking for that, though.

Talls’ Mass Ave omelete. Also stuffed with fucking deliciousness.

It was a food stuffed with food sort of morning for us. And yes, we were ravenous when we got there, but this is not the first time we’ve dined and been delighted. Get you ass to this diner!

How good is it? It’s so good I forgot to eat my syrup.

Trail’s End Cafe – Concord, MA

Posted on April 25, 2014 by Sarah

Trail’s End Cafe

Trail’s End is a newer, smaller place than Helen’s that’s way nicer than what was here before. Also, the nail place above the Rite Aid in the same complex is owned and operated by a lovely group of ladies.

Trail’s End is pretty, but their selection is small and their prices higher than I’d like. What they have, though, is goddamn fucking delicious.

This is French Toast Bread Pudding. I have now died from glee.

This is Apple-Cinnamon Baked French Toast, which is essentially a drier bread pudding. I have now died from glee.

If you have read any other posts here you know of my extreme french toast problem, and thus would be unsurprised I barely glanced at the menu before settling on this. And then, when it arrived, it got better. I looooooove bread pudding. Carbs and sugar bitches! And this? This was the delicious lovechild of french toast and bread pudding if bread-based food reproduced like cats and so apple pie managed to get some genes in there. EAT THIS NOW.

This quiche is so tasty it basically jumps into your face unaided.

The generally have a selection of quiche, but Talls went for bacon and mushroom. Can you tell he has a Ph.D.? What can I say, I like my men brilliant. This quiche was the right texture, right amount salty, and packed with bacon and mushrooms. They tried to balance it with fresh fruit, but of course he and I balanced it with my meal instead. So they absolutely nailed both the sweet and the savory.

In conclusion, the food was great but as it’s not in my immediate area, has a smaller food selection, and costs more than most brunch places I don’t think I’ll be back a ton. Definitely worth a stop if you’re passing through though!

Brunch the Fuck Up

pretentious yet edible

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