The Asgard – Cambridge, MA

Posted on August 18, 2015 by Sarah

We’re back, bitches! Which I know I’ve said before, so blah blah blah, fuck me I’m an asshole, blah. Look, do you want mea culpas or do you want raving about tasty food? Neither, you want pictures of my meals! Ha! Goddamn it, when did I become that person? Probably a few months before I bought this fucking domain name.

The Asgard is an Irish, not Norse pub, but I’m sure Tom and Chris would still be welcome here if they showed up in their Avengers attire. It’s in Central Square and close enough to Toscanini’s that if you eat a late brunch you can saunter across a street or two and have the best fucking ice cream ever afterwards.

…fuck, why didn’t we do that?

Anyway, it was a cold and rainy day in April that for some reason showed up at the end of June when we ate here, and I was so fucking happy to have a warm mug in my hands that I forgave them their only okay coffee. And then they served my meal, and I didn’t give a shit about that at ALL anymore.

Sing with me: Amazing waffle gets rid of everything awful!

This fucking thing showed up and my day was MADE. The waffle was crispy and chewy in all the right places, the chicken was juicy and delicious, and the spicy maple syrup was real and just the right level of heat. I was in comfort food heaven and hummed to myself throughout the entire damn meal.

A traditional Irish breakfast at the Viking Irish Pubthing.

Talls, being Talls, went for his favorite land of a million puddings meal, the Irish breakfast. They may not have named their restaurant correctly, but they did a Celtic brunch standard proud. He ate the entire thing and declared it, as we say in Boston, wicked pissah.

To sum up: shitty coffee but fucking awesome food. Better to brunch here and get your coffee affogato over at Toscanini’s, I think.

My Other Kitchen – Belmont, MA

Posted on October 6, 2014 by Sarah

My Other Kitchen – does not appear to have a website so the link goes to Yelp

This is the second place I drive past every day on my way to work, but it was small enough and busy enough I’ve again managed to never stop by. Come the weekend I packed Talls into the car and drove like a bat out of hell to try and get one of the few tables – which are all outdoors, by the way. The tables were already all taken because the weather was fucking gorgeous. Fall mornings in New England are the best. We went in and ordered anyway, as there is an inside bar as a last resort. Talls waited for the food while I stalked diners outside, and my creepieness paid off! We ended up with a table in the shade near an adorable English ex-pat family and fucking delicious food.

The special was caramelized pear french toast. Guess who ate this?

The coffee was delightful and unending, while the orange juice was delicious and doled out in small, expensive amounts. I’m honestly surprised this isn’t the case more often with fresh squeezed, but there you are. The french toast was just as rediculously fucking tasty as it looks in that picture.

Talls had a cast iron breakfast, complete with actual cast iron pan.

There was chorizo, scrambled eggs, hash browns, cheddar cheese, and one home made cornbread muffin in this pile of noms. I think the white stuff is yogurt, but I’m entirely sure. Regardless, all of this was consumed and I was able to steal very little for myself.

This is a tiny place that has little indoor seating, so lines happen here with ease. As long as the weather holds it’ll be a bitching place to eat, and when that falls apart it will become an amazing place to eat out from. The only thing it’s missing is an indoor dining area, but with the winters Massachusetts gets that’s a pretty big thing.

The Sweet Peach Diner – Belmont, MA

Posted on September 29, 2014 by Sarah

The Sweet Peach Diner

This is a place I drive past every single morning on my way to work, and every time I ask myself: why the fuck am I not stopping and shoveling food into my mouth instead continuing on into the office? Luckily the traffic around there in the morning is a bitch so there’s no easy way to park and lose my job to deliciousness. I finally got there recently when Talls and I wanted to go to a new brunch place but not drive too far.

This place has excellent food, and as I said up there, fuck all for parking. There’s a tiny amount on the street, and a parking lot got the local nature reserve not too far away. If you come at a classic brunch time like 10 on a Sunday, this place is packed. We did this and ended up eating at the counter because there were no tables available, and still had a great meal. Wonderful servers, a nice set up, and great food can’t be beat.

The Sweet Peach Stuffed French Toast. It is as fantastic as it looks.

Me? Eat French toast? I know, so fucking shocking. This pile of deliciousness was jam packed with peaches, fresh whipped cream, and all around tastiness. It also came with real maple syrup, because this place knows where the hell it is: New Fucking England.

There was also bacon. A lady needs protein.

The Tallsasaurus went for something hashy, as is his wont, although this time in Eggs benedict form. It was on cornbread instead of biscuits, and was fabulous. There’s also a pulled pork benedict on their menu that I will have to try sometime.

The hash benedict. Also crazy good.

Final verdict? Get your ass over to Belmont, find some way to park, and go eat at this diner whenever you can. They know what the fuck they’re doing brunchwise, and they do it well.

Birthday Brunch!

Posted on September 22, 2014 by Sarah

Talls turned older recently (if he will let me record his old man voice I will happily put it up here. It’s my favorite fucking thing sometimes.) and while initially I had wanted to throw him an ice cream birthday party as that’s the food blog he would have, we ended up doing brunch instead. Oh no. Boo hoo. It’s so shitty things worked out this way.

I made a pile of food and everyone else either brought food, maple syrup, and juice. We were buried under a metric shit-ton of maple syrup and juice for weeks afterwards. Our friends are the best!

I will post the other foods in a second, but let’s all first marvel at the piece de resistance:

It’s a fucking pancake cake bitches. A cake. Made. Out of PANCAKES.

This was Talls’ birthday cake: layers of gigantic pancakes with homemade raspberry syrup and vanilla whipped cream that had goddamn flecks of vanilla bean in it. It’s creatrix is a semi-professional baker, and she did not balk at this assignment when I asked her to make this thing. She sat down and made this glorious pile of deliciousness, and then fed it to us. It was as tall as a fucking regular layer cake you guys. It arrived in a cake carrier. I couldn’t even, and I still can’t. This woman is the fucking best and the champion of the world.

And now for the regular food:

I made quiche and remembered to get a before pic!

I made baked french toast and did not remember! Also a waffle maker was brought and I made batter so we had fresh waffles.

There were piles of cheddar cheese scrambled eggs!

And last but not least, mystery meat (alligator as it turned out) and parfait. There was also bacon and sausage, but they were gone way too fast for photos.

We spread blankets on the grass and had a picnic with lots of people in our backyard. Everyone was well fed – especially my dog who snarfed a good amount of waffle when people weren’t looking.

In conclusion, I recommend throwing a fucking awesome brunch birthday party for the brunch companion in your life, and not looking for suggestions for it on Pinterest because you’ll feel like a non-glamorous ass otherwise.

Five Horses Tavern – Davis Square, Somerville, MA

Posted on August 25, 2014 by Sarah

Five Horses Tavern

I think basically the only reason I’m going to be somewhat meh on Five Horses in this review is that I ate here in the wrong order. One of our friends had recommended brunch both here and at the Painted Burro, stating that they were both good but that the Burro kind of blew this place out of the water. Like fools Talls and I went to the Burro first, and after that amazing food-based love affair were kind of spoiled for other Davis Square brunches that were trying to be in a similar league. If I’d done Five Horses first I feel like I would’ve liked them more because I wouldn’t have been having flash backs to fucking candied bacon. Let’s be honest: no one can compete with that.

kfc-style chicken breast, bacon marmalade, fried egg, cheddar, frisée. cornichons, creole mustard on toasted waffles with fruit salad

I got the breakfast club, which was a club-style sandwich thing made out of breakfast foods. I ended up having to take some of the layers apart to eat it without making a giant mess, but it was delicious all the same. The do some very fine fried chicken at this place.

black beans, eggs, potatoes, carrots, scallions, jalapenos, red peppers, served in a fried tortilla with salsa, guacamole and goat cheese sour cream

Talls got the Chimichanga which was much less blurry in real life. My phone camera skills have been lost! It was full of tasty things as advertised.

So yeah, the food was good, there was a tiny line when it opened (Like six people for a huge place. I am usually a line stickler and there was a woman in front of us who was all “I believe we got here first!” and I rolled my eyes at her back because seriously, there are plenty of seats and every damn one of us is going to be served at the same time. This is a time when lines do not matter.), and services was nice a quick. But it was not the Painter Burro, and this made me sad.

The Painted Burro – Davis Square, Somerville, MA

Posted on August 18, 2014 by Sarah

The Painted Burro

I would just like to say, for the record, that this place is fucking amazing and if you do not immediately stop whatever stupid thing you’re doing right now and get your ass into one of their seats so you can get their food in your mouth, you are a useless fool. Jesus Christ on a cheese-coated unicycle they have god damn candied bacon here people! Go eat there now and read this review later. Seriously. I’ll wait.

Let's get in the mood with some fabulous art.

Let’s get in the mood for food with some fabulous art.

It’s a nice place with a great set up, and as long as the weather is nice their gigantic wall of windows is open to street. That’s right: amazing grub AND ambiance. Seriously, why aren’t you eating here RIGHT NOW!?!?

French toast: egg-dipped brioche, caramelized plantains, mascarpone whipped, maple syrup

This pile of food was fucking delicious, and not just because I am addicted to real maple syrup and will always say yes to fried plantains. The french toast under all of that was thick, fluffy, and a little crisp on the outside. Perfection!

EL MONTANERO “SUPERBEASTO”:
2 fried eggs, chorizo con papas, pork charro beans, chicharron, fried plantain, burro rice, chipotle mayo, baja cream, crispy tortilla

Talls order this pile of deliciousness and, because he is tall and has extra stomach space in his legs like all tall people (look, it’s the only logical explanation of this), HE FINISHED THE ENTIRE THING. I manage to steal like a bite and even that was dangerous. This is a well named dish.

THICK CUT BROWN SUGAR BACON

I am totally just copying directly off the menu for the descriptions because even their capitalization is apt. Eating this was seriously like eating candied meat, and it was one of the most amazing gustatory experiences of my life. I’ve never really understood wanting to eat yourself sick on something until I tasted this. The Painter Burro saved me by not putting anymore bacon on that plate. Fuck, every bite almost killed me with happiness!

To sum up: GO EAT HERE NAO!!!

The Painted Burro is perfect and you need to go eat there, stat. Look, I left a physical comment raving about this place at the restaurant, and they fucking sent me a personalized thank you email. GO THERE BITCHES.

Hell’s Kitchen – Minneapolis, MN

Posted on August 12, 2014 by Sarah

Hell’s Kitchen

This post is written by my partner Talls who was at a conference in Minnesota recently. Thanks to covering brunchiness even when I was not there to bitch about it!

Well, shit, I think this might be our kind of place.

Hell’s Kitchen, besides being a neighborhood in New York City, is also a fucking great restaurant in Minneapolis.

It’s downstairs in a mall or something, which, I don’t even care, because fuck malls and just give me the food. Luckily you can enter from the outside.

The menu has all kinds of wonderful-sounding food. Thing like cornmeal pancakes, and a ham-and-pear sandwich, and Bison Benedict, and plantains, and lots of other stuff.

Also, huge bonus: this place believes in maple syrup. Really, truly fucking believes. You get pancakes? They come with real syrup. There is Maple-Glazed Bison Sausage. Their porridge (see below) has maple syrup in it. Yes. Win.

Sparkle Motion, bitches!

Enough of the seizure sign. What did I actually fucking order?

Yeah, so, I almost forgot to take a picture.

Luckily I only got a few bites in before I was like “Shit, I require photographic documentation as evidence of this fine-ass cuisine.”

At the top: real orange juice. Delicious.

At right: Mahnomin Porridge. It’s like if some extra-sophisticated motherfucker had looked at oatmeal and said, “Hold on, guys. We can seriously class this shit up.” Wild rice instead of oats, with dried blueberries and cranberries, hazelnuts, maple syrup, and cream. Delicious. Apparently they used to have to give this shit away, which I totally wish they were still doing.

Main course: Lemon-ricotta pancakes with fresh berries and maple syrup. These are among the best pancakes I have ever had. They’re up there with Gould’s Sugar Shack, and those made people ask if I was going to cry. Fucking awesome.

It wasn’t as cheap as Al’s Breakfast, but it was just as good if not better, and it wasn’t ridiculously expensive or anything. And I didn’t wait for an hour and 15 minutes, but that’s probably because it was ass-early on a Thursday.

In summation: you should go here and eat all their tasty food. If you have the bison stuff you should tell me how it was because I totally fucking wish I had room in my stomach for that, but it was too fucking full of other delicious stuff.

Trident Booksellers and Cafe – Boston, MA

Posted on June 9, 2014 by Sarah

Trident Booksellers and Cafe

I know what you’re thinking: this going to be a shitty little bookstore with a three wobbly tables and four books and it will be the worst experience of your life because no one can do books and food well and you’re going to track down my address and burn terrible cookbooks at me so I can understand you emotional fuck-uped-ness after having to read this horrific review.

BUT YOU’D BE WRONG, BITCH.

Trident is so fucking incredible it has raised both the cafe and the book selling sections of its business to an art form. They have a pretty interesting selection considering that they’re on the small side of bookstores, and I will always love them for having a copy of Voodoo Histories the one time I was in a bookstore and actually had a book I was desperately trying to track down.

But come on, this is not a book blog. This is a brunch blog. On to the brunchings!

Trident has breakfast all day, so Talls and I were technically having dinner when these photos were taken. Whatthefuckever, it was all fucking delicious. I had the Monte Cristo, which is a ham, cheese, and fruit compote sandwich on two slices of french toast instead of regular bread. In a word: mind-blowing.

And in the words of this blog: mind-fucking.

Yes, that is real maple syrup on the side for dipping. Perfection!

Talls had a special that I can’t remember the name of, but was basically a cross of their frittata and Eggs Benedict on a crepe. Even after I was stuffed with my own food my poor guy was fending off my attempts to steal all of his.

I don’t remember the name of this, but I do remember it was delicious and I wanted to steal the whole thing.

To sum up: get your ass to Trident. They are definitely busy at standard meal times, so there will be a wait that may cause you to buy books you didn’t plan on getting if you come then. If you show up at 7pm on a Wednesday like we did it will be about 3/4 full and you may even score a booth seat.

Also all their juices are fresh squeezed and amazing, so do yourself a huge fucking favor and have one of their hippy-ster juice blend things no matter how weird they sound. Their tea selection is also excellent. They’re also open 8am to midnight every day, so it is an excellent place to scratch your brunch itch even at the strangest times.

Brunch it Yourself – Coconut French Toast

Posted on May 24, 2014 by Sarah

Most of us can make a solid basic brunch at home: fry an egg, cook some bacon, burn some toast and voila! Many have also mastered the art of pancakes without Bisquick, crepes, waffles, and french toast. Are you one of the wonderful people who bakes your own muffins, folds omelettes perfectly, or makes cinnamon buns from scratch? Brunch is a pretty accessible meal, and I am here to make it even moreso. I adore going out for a fabulous brunch so much I made a damn blog about it, but I am a baker at heart and also enjoy bringing it home.

Do you want fancy, delicious french toast in your own kitchen? Awesome! It’s totally within your grasp.

Ingredients:

bread, preferably something “plain” like white, wheat, or multigrain
eggs
milk, cream, or your dairy substitute of choice
dried coconut flakes

USE ALL THE COCONUT.

Tools:

shallow bowl
plate
whisk or fork
spatula
griddle or frying pan

I use four eggs to make six pieces of coconut french toast

Set pan or griddle on stove and turn the burner on to medium to medium low heat. If your pan/griddle is non-stick, don’t worry about greasing it. If it isn’t, wait until a little water sprinkled on it sizzles and then grease with butter or veggie oil depending on your dairy tolerance.
While your griddle/pan is heating, crack eggs into your bowl and whisk together with milk/cream/dairy substitute. Place a slice of bread in bowl for soaking.
Pour a thick layer of coconut flakes on to plate.
Flip bread and soak other side.
When bread is fully soaked with egg mixture, place it on the plate and “bread” it with coconut flakes. Do the same to the other side.
When the bread is fully coconut flaked, put it on the hot griddle/pan.
Flip bread when the egg is fully cooked and then coconut is singed. This will take longer than standard french toast. Repeat for the other side.
Repeat steps 2 through 8 for each slice. Enjoy delicious coconut french toast!
For added deliciousness, eat with pineapple. The best is fresh pineapple seared on a grill, but you can also throw fresh or canned on to your griddle/pan when you’re done with your toast for tastiness as well.

On the griddle like regular french toast, just “breaded” with coconut first.

Serve with maple syrup and enjoy!

Veggie Galaxy – Cambridge, MA

Posted on May 16, 2014 by Sarah

Veggie Galaxy

Talls and I stepped off our plane from Brazil in Boston, went straight to the Silver Line (not checking bags is the greatest of things), to the Red Line, to Central Square, to have brunch here. It was amazing and delicious and entirely worth staving off jet lagged napping for. How I have avoided posting about this place I have no fucking clue, but I shall fix this oversight posthaste.

Now, Veggie Galaxy is a vegetarian restaurant. It is also a dinner. It also serves brunch all day every day. Stop botching about their lack of meat and go stuff your face with their amazing food.

Great coffee plus amazing frappe = welcome home!

Veggie Galaxy makes frappes. Really fucking good frappes. Frappes with coconut milk. We went with one of our standbys, chocolate banana. It was appropriately delicious.

Stuffed French Toast. Go read the description on their menu. It’s an orgasm on a plate.

I had the best goddamn french toast they offer, like I am wont to. Allllll of that and they give you real maple syrup without question. This place makes me forget I like bacon with breakfast. Which is good because their fake bacon (tempeh) is not so good. The seitan chorizo is a very tasty meat substitute if you’re looking for that, though.

Talls’ Mass Ave omelete. Also stuffed with fucking deliciousness.

It was a food stuffed with food sort of morning for us. And yes, we were ravenous when we got there, but this is not the first time we’ve dined and been delighted. Get you ass to this diner!

How good is it? It’s so good I forgot to eat my syrup.

Brunch the Fuck Up

pretentious yet edible

Tag Archives: maple syrup