Rosebud – Davis Square, Somerville, MA

Posted on September 7, 2015 by Sarah

If you’ve ever been here before, you know that I fucking love to the point of marrying despite not really seeing the point of marriage as state institution because isn’t there better and just as cheap ways to get all those protections? The Painted Burro. They do the best damn Mexican brunch I’ve ever had, and if we can’t think of a place to go and are the same timezone as Davis Square I will suggest going there. I bring this up because the same guy who owns PB owns Rosebud, an adorable diner right next door. When I heard this I knew I had to try their brunch, if only in an effort to have two restaurants I would want to drive several hours for, should I somehow be kidnapped and wake up in the political wasteland of New Hampshire.

I found instead a decent brunch place. Which is fine, but after the Burro I was expecting “fuck yeah!”s and “holy shits!” all over the place. There was only one plate served to us that was that exact thing, so I’m going to completely ignore the okay french toast and acceptable omelet that Talls and I had and just devote this post to the one shining, unfuckingbelievable glory of this meal:

HUSHPUPPIES SENT FROM LOUISVILLE.

Did you hear the angels playing horns out of their asses to the glory of these hush puppies? If you didn’t I guess you’re a boring food-hating dickwad or something. Or maybe you haven’t seen a lot of illuminated manuscripts. One of those.

To begin, aside from the bacon and scallion amazingness that just cranks these fuckers up to eleven, these are just well made hushpuppies. What are hushpuppies, you say? One of the fine fried fruits of the South, my friend! It’s a ball of fried cornmeal batter. When well done they are crisp on the outside, warm and a little crumbly on the inside, and have never been polluted by the racist horror that is that bitch Paula Deen. These hushpuppies are well done. AND THEN they also have diced bacon and scallions inside that manage to add just the right amount of flavor without taking over from the down home corn taste. AND THEN they give a fucking pineapple-chili glaze to dip them in so that your tastebuds explode with delight and you are ruined for deliciousness for the rest of your life.

I can’t, you guys. I can’t even. Look how little I’ve sworn in this entry! Do you know why that is? It’s because I’m dazzled by the goddamn memory of these little nuggets of perfection. Ugh. I don’t give a fuck if you grew up with hushpuppies or you’ve never had them in your life: get your ass to Rosebud and eat as many of these things as you can. Get a drink. Take a pie home, since they get good pie reviews and honestly any place that does hushpups well likely bakes a fine-ass pie. The rest of the menu isn’t bad, but these balls of deliciousness are too amazing to waste your time eating anything else.

Main Streets Cafe – Concord, MA

Posted on July 28, 2014 by Sarah

Main Streets Cafe

We went here with my friend Julia who has managed to be her on undoing because she is so hard core that the only person worthy of being her nemesis is herself. This meant we needed to pick her up if we wanted to have brunch with her, and since she’s so fucking incredible we obviously did. She lives in the Concord area, so Talls and I packed her in our motorized chariot, begged her to try to rein in her glory so she didn’t accidentally destroy the car, and sped over to Concord center.

MSC has hella great drinks – good coffee, good tea, great fruit juice, and a mango smoothie that I believe Talls is now clinically addicted to. They also have incredible muffins that are huge and have some very interesting flavor combos, so if you’re passing through stopping to grab a muffin and a drink before heading on your way would be the appropriate thing to do. But we were there for brunch.

A buttery waffle

Brunch was… okay. It was a pretty standard affair, so if you like a basic, no-surprises brunch you’ll be fine here. I was bored. Helen’s across the way (which I have covered before) also does brunch basics but it isn’t dull the way it is here. Lots of Market Streets’ non-brunch fare is great: if you want lunch, skip the sit down restaurant and walk down to their burrito kitchen. Even their basic burritos are amazing. Brunch, on the other hand, is not their thing. I felt like they were just going through the motions. Their heart wasn’t in it.

Omelette. Hash.

It was fucking “meh” that when I looked at the pictures this morning to write this post it took me ten entire minutes to remember where the hell we had eaten. What clued me in? The chairs.

So yeah, this is not a rave review. It’s not rant of horribleness. This is a serviceable brunch, but if you have a choice go elsewhere. Or stock up on muffins and drinks and then go have brunch in one of the local graveyards. 100 extra fucking weirdo points if you do this while dressed up as a ghost!

Johnny D’s – Somerville, MA

Posted on June 16, 2014 by Sarah

Johnny D’s Uptown Restaurant and Music Club

Johnny D’s is open both super early and super late, so if you want to randomly get your brunch on in the Somerville area this is the place to go. Also, if you have Southern or Jazz tastes, Johnny’s will meet your oddly specific wishes.

Talls and I ended up here originally because we didn’t want to wait until 11 for brunch on a Sunday. Totally fucking worth it. Every meal begins with a choice of oatmeal or grits and just gets better from there.

Grits come with a “choice” of cheese, but obviously the correct answer is YES.

When I saw the menu I had such plans! Plans for one of their delicious-sounding omelets, or maybe a hash. But then my eye strayed down to the bottom right, and I saw they had blintzes. I have a long, sordid history with blintzes that involves the S&S Deli in Inman Square fucking ruining me for a blintz anywhere else. But since I only go to the S&S with my grandfather and he died two years ago, I had been pining for their cream cheesy goodness. To hell with it! I ordered blintzes in honor of grandpa and deliciousness!

And FUCK were they good.

I also got some eggs on the side so they I had some protein. This is how I learned Johnny D’s doesn’t really do side portions.

Basically I was buried in food.

Talls helped me with my homefries whilst working on his own massive plate of deliciousness.

He went for Eggs Benedict and reported favorable flavors.

We arrived and left prior to the jazz performance that accompanies brunch after 11am every Sunday, so I can’t weigh in on the quality of the music. Still, Johnny’s is a music club so I can’t imagine it would be bad. If Jazz is your thing, of course. Regardless, the blintzes are absolute heaven, so if you also have family members you associate with them you’ll enjoy the memories along with the flavor.

Trident Booksellers and Cafe – Boston, MA

Posted on June 9, 2014 by Sarah

Trident Booksellers and Cafe

I know what you’re thinking: this going to be a shitty little bookstore with a three wobbly tables and four books and it will be the worst experience of your life because no one can do books and food well and you’re going to track down my address and burn terrible cookbooks at me so I can understand you emotional fuck-uped-ness after having to read this horrific review.

BUT YOU’D BE WRONG, BITCH.

Trident is so fucking incredible it has raised both the cafe and the book selling sections of its business to an art form. They have a pretty interesting selection considering that they’re on the small side of bookstores, and I will always love them for having a copy of Voodoo Histories the one time I was in a bookstore and actually had a book I was desperately trying to track down.

But come on, this is not a book blog. This is a brunch blog. On to the brunchings!

Trident has breakfast all day, so Talls and I were technically having dinner when these photos were taken. Whatthefuckever, it was all fucking delicious. I had the Monte Cristo, which is a ham, cheese, and fruit compote sandwich on two slices of french toast instead of regular bread. In a word: mind-blowing.

And in the words of this blog: mind-fucking.

Yes, that is real maple syrup on the side for dipping. Perfection!

Talls had a special that I can’t remember the name of, but was basically a cross of their frittata and Eggs Benedict on a crepe. Even after I was stuffed with my own food my poor guy was fending off my attempts to steal all of his.

I don’t remember the name of this, but I do remember it was delicious and I wanted to steal the whole thing.

To sum up: get your ass to Trident. They are definitely busy at standard meal times, so there will be a wait that may cause you to buy books you didn’t plan on getting if you come then. If you show up at 7pm on a Wednesday like we did it will be about 3/4 full and you may even score a booth seat.

Also all their juices are fresh squeezed and amazing, so do yourself a huge fucking favor and have one of their hippy-ster juice blend things no matter how weird they sound. Their tea selection is also excellent. They’re also open 8am to midnight every day, so it is an excellent place to scratch your brunch itch even at the strangest times.

Veggie Galaxy – Cambridge, MA

Posted on May 16, 2014 by Sarah

Veggie Galaxy

Talls and I stepped off our plane from Brazil in Boston, went straight to the Silver Line (not checking bags is the greatest of things), to the Red Line, to Central Square, to have brunch here. It was amazing and delicious and entirely worth staving off jet lagged napping for. How I have avoided posting about this place I have no fucking clue, but I shall fix this oversight posthaste.

Now, Veggie Galaxy is a vegetarian restaurant. It is also a dinner. It also serves brunch all day every day. Stop botching about their lack of meat and go stuff your face with their amazing food.

Great coffee plus amazing frappe = welcome home!

Veggie Galaxy makes frappes. Really fucking good frappes. Frappes with coconut milk. We went with one of our standbys, chocolate banana. It was appropriately delicious.

Stuffed French Toast. Go read the description on their menu. It’s an orgasm on a plate.

I had the best goddamn french toast they offer, like I am wont to. Allllll of that and they give you real maple syrup without question. This place makes me forget I like bacon with breakfast. Which is good because their fake bacon (tempeh) is not so good. The seitan chorizo is a very tasty meat substitute if you’re looking for that, though.

Talls’ Mass Ave omelete. Also stuffed with fucking deliciousness.

It was a food stuffed with food sort of morning for us. And yes, we were ravenous when we got there, but this is not the first time we’ve dined and been delighted. Get you ass to this diner!

How good is it? It’s so good I forgot to eat my syrup.

The Madrona Tree – Arlington, MA

Posted on January 17, 2014 by Sarah

The Madrona Tree

I’d already been here for sandwiches and their great, made-on-the-spot sodas, but this fall they started including a breakfast/brunch menu and so I had to return. Seriously, this is the list of their standard sodas: blue-raspberry, raspberry-lime, lemon-lime, strawberry, strawberry-basil, and blackberry-mint. When I went for brunch, their seasonal option was maple. They had already earned a gold star with their drinks.

Red Sox French Toast

They have a good range of sweet and savory, and some very tasty twists on brunchy standards. They’re all Boston or Arlington themed as is so common here, but regardless they are good. The above contains apple, berry, cream cheese, and crumb topping. Also, all french toast comes with real syrup, and both the toasts and the pancakes can be made gluten free.

A scramble, a.k.a. egg-containing pile of food

Many of their dishes have a slight Mediterranean take on things due to the origins of the family who owns the place. I think they do a good job of making this work.

This lured me away from french toast. So worth it.

At other times they just go crazy with their variations on breakfast themes (this is an eggs Benedict variant) and those are super tasty as well. Those who prefer old standards will not be as happy here as those who want to branch out, but there are still options for the classic brunchers here and there.

It’s a little small so it fills up fast, but they do have a clip board so you can get in line on there instead of in person. During the summer they double their seating with some lovely tables outside that also get service.

Brunch the Fuck Up

pretentious yet edible

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