Rosebud – Davis Square, Somerville, MA

Posted on September 7, 2015 by Sarah

If you’ve ever been here before, you know that I fucking love to the point of marrying despite not really seeing the point of marriage as state institution because isn’t there better and just as cheap ways to get all those protections? The Painted Burro. They do the best damn Mexican brunch I’ve ever had, and if we can’t think of a place to go and are the same timezone as Davis Square I will suggest going there. I bring this up because the same guy who owns PB owns Rosebud, an adorable diner right next door. When I heard this I knew I had to try their brunch, if only in an effort to have two restaurants I would want to drive several hours for, should I somehow be kidnapped and wake up in the political wasteland of New Hampshire.

I found instead a decent brunch place. Which is fine, but after the Burro I was expecting “fuck yeah!”s and “holy shits!” all over the place. There was only one plate served to us that was that exact thing, so I’m going to completely ignore the okay french toast and acceptable omelet that Talls and I had and just devote this post to the one shining, unfuckingbelievable glory of this meal:

HUSHPUPPIES SENT FROM LOUISVILLE.

Did you hear the angels playing horns out of their asses to the glory of these hush puppies? If you didn’t I guess you’re a boring food-hating dickwad or something. Or maybe you haven’t seen a lot of illuminated manuscripts. One of those.

To begin, aside from the bacon and scallion amazingness that just cranks these fuckers up to eleven, these are just well made hushpuppies. What are hushpuppies, you say? One of the fine fried fruits of the South, my friend! It’s a ball of fried cornmeal batter. When well done they are crisp on the outside, warm and a little crumbly on the inside, and have never been polluted by the racist horror that is that bitch Paula Deen. These hushpuppies are well done. AND THEN they also have diced bacon and scallions inside that manage to add just the right amount of flavor without taking over from the down home corn taste. AND THEN they give a fucking pineapple-chili glaze to dip them in so that your tastebuds explode with delight and you are ruined for deliciousness for the rest of your life.

I can’t, you guys. I can’t even. Look how little I’ve sworn in this entry! Do you know why that is? It’s because I’m dazzled by the goddamn memory of these little nuggets of perfection. Ugh. I don’t give a fuck if you grew up with hushpuppies or you’ve never had them in your life: get your ass to Rosebud and eat as many of these things as you can. Get a drink. Take a pie home, since they get good pie reviews and honestly any place that does hushpups well likely bakes a fine-ass pie. The rest of the menu isn’t bad, but these balls of deliciousness are too amazing to waste your time eating anything else.

Five Horses Tavern – Davis Square, Somerville, MA

Posted on August 25, 2014 by Sarah

Five Horses Tavern

I think basically the only reason I’m going to be somewhat meh on Five Horses in this review is that I ate here in the wrong order. One of our friends had recommended brunch both here and at the Painted Burro, stating that they were both good but that the Burro kind of blew this place out of the water. Like fools Talls and I went to the Burro first, and after that amazing food-based love affair were kind of spoiled for other Davis Square brunches that were trying to be in a similar league. If I’d done Five Horses first I feel like I would’ve liked them more because I wouldn’t have been having flash backs to fucking candied bacon. Let’s be honest: no one can compete with that.

kfc-style chicken breast, bacon marmalade, fried egg, cheddar, frisée. cornichons, creole mustard on toasted waffles with fruit salad

I got the breakfast club, which was a club-style sandwich thing made out of breakfast foods. I ended up having to take some of the layers apart to eat it without making a giant mess, but it was delicious all the same. The do some very fine fried chicken at this place.

black beans, eggs, potatoes, carrots, scallions, jalapenos, red peppers, served in a fried tortilla with salsa, guacamole and goat cheese sour cream

Talls got the Chimichanga which was much less blurry in real life. My phone camera skills have been lost! It was full of tasty things as advertised.

So yeah, the food was good, there was a tiny line when it opened (Like six people for a huge place. I am usually a line stickler and there was a woman in front of us who was all “I believe we got here first!” and I rolled my eyes at her back because seriously, there are plenty of seats and every damn one of us is going to be served at the same time. This is a time when lines do not matter.), and services was nice a quick. But it was not the Painter Burro, and this made me sad.

Al’s Breakfast – Minneapolis, MN

Posted on August 4, 2014 by Sarah

Al’s Breakfast – No website, link goes to Yelp page

This post is written by my partner Talls who was at a conference in Minnesota recently. Thanks to covering brunchiness even when I was not there to bitch about it!

How small is Al’s Breakfast?

It’s so small that the entire restaurant is 10 feet wide.

It’s so small that there are only 14 seats.

How small is it? Check out the picture from Google Maps:

It’s real fuckin’ small.

You ain’t kiddin’, pal.

I got there and there was a line with about 20 people outside the building, and maybe another 20 inside. (Yes, they fucking crammed a line into a restaurant that’s 10 feet wide.) That doesn’t sound so bad?

Remember: 14 seats.

It was just over an hour before I got to sit down. Either don’t go on a sunday, or bring a fucking book.

The place, as they say, has character.

Also dinosaur toys for kids.

For kids, I said.

Enough with the fucking decor, how’s the food?

Corned Beef Hash, pancakes, and juice.

On the down side, they think that stuff in the front is corned beef hash. It is not. It is hash browns that someone waved some fucking corned beef over. Some day I shall write a fucking tirade about how people cannot fucking figure out corned beef hash, but not today.

On the up side, those pancakes? Fucking delicious. Blackberry pancakes with a big pat of butter and maple syrup (which you have to buy, but is cheap). They did those fuckers right. It’s a good thing I got the water because I would have burned my tongue off with the delicious blackberries otherwise. The OJ is not fresh-squeezed, but is miles better than canned.

The omelets also looked amazing. I don’t have a picture because I didn’t want to be the creepy fuck who was like CAN I PHOTOGRAPH YOUR BREAKFAST FOR MY GIRLFRIEND’S EXPLETIVE-FILLED BRUNCH BLOG? but they looked great.

Oh, and in case you can’t read my bill upside-down, the whole thing came out to about $13. Fuck yeah.

So, short version: If you are in Minneapolis in the morning: go to Al’s Breakfast. Not on a weekend. Get pancakes. The end.

Highland Kitchen – Somerville, MA

Posted on June 30, 2014 by Sarah

Highland Kitchen

My first exposure to this place was wandering over from the Armory where Talls and I were going to catch a charity music performance (which was awesome), and learning that there was at least an hour wait for dinner. Shit! We ended up having some tasty Thai food down the street instead, but obviously I had to look this place up. Their menu online looked fab AND they did brunch. Talls and I agreed that we would try again for brunch some time… and promptly forgot. We tend to be somewhat early brunchers for Sundays, and so a place that doesn’t open til 11am kind of fell off our radar. FINALLY we focused our sights back towards the Armory and got our asses (plus one friend’s ass!) over to Highland Kitchen. We were parked and in line at 10:45am and got a table as soon as they opened.

So why wait in line before a place unlocks its front door when there are plenty of other places to go? Because food, baby. Because food.

There were two other hushpuppies prior to our descending upon them.

Food exhibit A: they have goddamn brunch appetizers here that included gloriously golden hushpuppies. Those tasty little fucks didn’t stand a chance.

Chicken liver and bacon omelet. I’m not normally a liver girl, but I was interested in all the other bits. And it still delicious-ed my face off.

Neither Talls nor Jenn were into the liver bits, but that was cool because it meant more for me. Also? Those home fries were perfectly salted.

Jenn opted for a pork hash that came with BBQ sauce on the side. I have decided this means pulled pork hash needs to become a THING.

My companions both went for a hash, and they were both different and nummy.

A gentleman’s hash.

Talls wasn’t happy that they used home fries for the potato part of their hash without changing anything, which is a fair complaint. Surely shredding taters isn’t too much extra work? Also, they charged him an arm and a leg for a very small amount of orange juice. If it was bottomless like the coffee (which was seriously good – Jenn agreed with me on this) then the $4 for a small glass wouldn’t be too bad, but that wasn’t super clear. Best to ask.

Highland Kitchen was definitely good food, but not so fucking amazing that I’m itching to go back and brave a line again. It seems to be the only brunch or dinner place of note in its immediate area, so that may contribute to how packed it gets. If I were a local and got up later on Sundays I suspect I’d spend a lot of time here, but being able to walk to several places that are at least on par with no line means I don’t think we’ll be getting back here prior to opening time any time soon.

Helen’s Restaurant – Concord, MA

Posted on April 18, 2014 by Sarah

Helen’s Restaurant – no website, goes to Yelp! page.

I grew up in Concord, and still remember when this place was Brigham’s. Alas, there is but one Brigham’s left – the original in Arlington, MA. Helen’s replaced Brigham’s a while back, and makes some very tasty food. I also can’t speak highly enough about their raspberry lime rickies, the very first carbonated beverage I actually liked.

Okay, enough fucking nostalgia. On to the brunch!

The food was so good I forgot to take pictures before I started eating.

I was out with Talls and a friend, and if one of them hadn’t reminded me I wouldn’t have even snapped these photos. The blueberry pancakes were lovely, as was my requisite real maple syrup. I also enjoyed my bacon, which was thicker than other places and still wonderfully crunchy.

The home fries were gigantic and wonderful.

The plates were huge and so were the portions. The coffee is very much diner coffee, which I more than enjoyed. Talls, the non-coffee citrus connoisseur, reported that the orange juice was delicious.

Seriously forgot to snap pictures.

Key things to note:

This place gets busy fast when the local churches let out, so basically after 11 it’s a mad house on Sundays. If you’re willing to wait you’ll be well taken care of – the waitresses are all pros who know how to make a packed house run smooth.
Many families with small children means it can get loud and kid-like. I’ve never had a problem with this, but if kids around at all isn’t your thing this place may not work for you.
This place is CASH ONLY. There are plenty of ATMs walkably nearby in town.

If you’re in the area to Walden Pond or North Bridge it and it’s brunch time, hit this place up for some great down home dinner food.

Brunch the Fuck Up

pretentious yet edible

Tag Archives: Lines on Sundays