Tag Archives: hipsters

Sunset Cantina – Allston, MA

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Sunset Cantina

 

We mistakenly had brunch here one Saturday, expecting to eat lunch but finding there was still and hour before their brunch ended.  Judging from the menus alone it looks like their Sunday brunch is more of a thing (I mean, they don’t even have a Saturday brunch menu on the menu linked above), so perhaps I will cover that some time as well.

As I was expecting lunch I went with a savory meal of thick Texas toast smothered in egg, bacon, and cheese.  Talls had a breakfast burrito.

 

So big I only ate half.

So big I only ate half.

He, of course, finished his.

He, of course, finished his.

 

It was good… but.   This is the feeling I am always left with after eating at Sunset.  It’s not bad, but it’s not fabulous.  They have a great beer selection and actually a decent range of ciders, and I feel like they slack a little on their food because most people eating there have had a pint or two and can’t fully taste anything.

Anyway, not a place I’d rave about, but it’s decent and will fill you up.  I will have to go back for the Sunday Brunch to see if it’s more awesome.

The Painted Burro – Davis Square, Somerville, MA

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The Painted Burro

 

I would just like to say, for the record, that this place is fucking amazing and if you do not immediately stop whatever stupid thing you’re doing right now and get your ass into one of their seats so you can get their food in your mouth, you are a useless fool.  Jesus Christ on a cheese-coated unicycle they have god damn candied bacon here people!  Go eat there now and read this review later.  Seriously.  I’ll wait.

Let's get in the mood with some fabulous art.

Let’s get in the mood for food with some fabulous art.

It’s a nice place with a great set up, and as long as the weather is nice their gigantic wall of windows is open to street.  That’s right: amazing grub AND ambiance.  Seriously, why aren’t you eating here RIGHT NOW!?!?

French toast: egg-dipped brioche, caramelized plantains, mascarpone whipped, maple syrup

French toast: egg-dipped brioche, caramelized plantains, mascarpone whipped, maple syrup

This pile of food was fucking delicious, and not just because I am addicted to real maple syrup and will always say yes to fried plantains.  The french toast under all of that was thick, fluffy, and a little crisp on the outside.  Perfection!

EL MONTANERO “SUPERBEASTO”: 2 fried eggs, chorizo con papas, pork charro beans, chicharron, fried plantain, burro rice, chipotle mayo, baja cream, crispy tortilla

EL MONTANERO “SUPERBEASTO”:
2 fried eggs, chorizo con papas, pork charro beans, chicharron, fried plantain, burro rice, chipotle mayo, baja cream, crispy tortilla

Talls order this pile of deliciousness and, because he is tall and has extra stomach space in his legs like all tall people (look, it’s the only logical explanation of this), HE FINISHED THE ENTIRE THING. I manage to steal like a bite and even that was dangerous.  This is a well named dish.

THICK CUT BROWN SUGAR BACON

THICK CUT BROWN SUGAR BACON

I am totally just copying directly off the menu for the descriptions because even their capitalization is apt.  Eating this was seriously like eating candied meat, and it was one of the most amazing gustatory experiences of my life.  I’ve never really understood wanting to eat yourself sick on something until I tasted this.  The Painter Burro saved me by not putting anymore bacon on that plate. Fuck, every bite almost killed me with happiness!

To sum up: GO EAT HERE NAO!!!

To sum up: GO EAT HERE NAO!!!

The Painted Burro is perfect and you need to go eat there, stat.  Look, I left a physical comment raving about this place at the restaurant, and they fucking sent me a personalized thank you email.  GO THERE BITCHES.

Highland Kitchen – Somerville, MA

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Highland Kitchen

 

My first exposure to this place was wandering over from the Armory where Talls and I were going to catch a charity music performance (which was awesome), and learning that there was at least an hour wait for dinner.  Shit!  We ended up having some tasty Thai food down the street instead, but obviously I had to look this place up.  Their menu online looked fab AND they did brunch.  Talls and I agreed that we would try again for brunch some time… and promptly forgot.  We tend to be somewhat early brunchers for Sundays, and so a place that doesn’t open til 11am kind of fell off our radar.  FINALLY we focused our sights back towards the Armory and got our asses (plus one friend’s ass!) over to Highland Kitchen.  We were parked and in line at 10:45am and got a table as soon as they opened.

So why wait in line before a place unlocks its front door when there are plenty of other places to go?  Because food, baby.  Because food.

There were two other hushpuppies prior to our descending upon them.

There were two other hushpuppies prior to our descending upon them.

Food exhibit A: they have goddamn brunch appetizers here that included gloriously golden hushpuppies.  Those tasty little fucks didn’t stand a chance.

Chicken liver and bacon omelet. I'm not normally a liver girl, but I was interested in all the other bits. And it still delicious-ed my face off.

Chicken liver and bacon omelet. I’m not normally a liver girl, but I was interested in all the other bits. And it still delicious-ed my face off.

Neither Talls nor Jenn were into the liver bits, but that was cool because it meant more for me.  Also?  Those home fries were perfectly salted.

Jenn opted for a pork hash that came with BBQ sauce on the side. I have decided this means pulled pork hash needs to become a THING.

Jenn opted for a pork hash that came with BBQ sauce on the side. I have decided this means pulled pork hash needs to become a THING.

My companions both went for a hash, and they were both different and nummy.

A gentleman's hash.

A gentleman’s hash.

Talls wasn’t happy that they used home fries for the potato part of their hash without changing anything, which is a fair complaint.  Surely shredding taters isn’t too much extra work?  Also, they charged him an arm and a leg for a very small amount of orange juice.  If it was bottomless like the coffee (which was seriously good – Jenn agreed with me on this) then the $4 for a small glass wouldn’t be too bad, but that wasn’t super clear.  Best to ask.

Highland Kitchen was definitely good food, but not so fucking amazing that I’m itching to go back and brave a line again.  It seems to be the only brunch or dinner place of note in its immediate area, so that may contribute to how packed it gets.  If I were a local and got up later on Sundays I suspect I’d spend a lot of time here, but being able to walk to several places that are at least on par with no line means I don’t think we’ll be getting back here prior to opening time any time soon.

Trident Booksellers and Cafe – Boston, MA

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Trident Booksellers and Cafe

 

I know what you’re thinking: this going to be a shitty little bookstore with a three wobbly tables and four books and it will be the worst experience of your life because no one can do books and food well and you’re going to track down my address and burn terrible cookbooks at me so I can understand you emotional fuck-uped-ness after having to read this horrific review.

BUT YOU’D BE WRONG, BITCH.

Trident is so fucking incredible it has raised both the cafe and the book selling sections of its business to an art form.  They have a pretty interesting selection considering that they’re on the small side of bookstores, and I will always love them for having a copy of Voodoo Histories the one time I was in a bookstore and actually had a book I was desperately trying to track down.

But come on, this is not a book blog.  This is a brunch blog.  On to the brunchings!

Trident has breakfast all day, so Talls and I were technically having dinner when these photos were taken.  Whatthefuckever, it was all fucking delicious.  I had the Monte Cristo, which is a ham, cheese, and fruit compote sandwich on two slices of french toast instead of regular bread.  In a word: mind-blowing.

And in the words of this blog: mind-fucking.

And in the words of this blog: mind-fucking.

Yes, that is real maple syrup on the side for dipping.  Perfection!

Talls had a special that I can’t remember the name of, but was basically a cross of their frittata and Eggs Benedict on a crepe.  Even after I was stuffed with my own food my poor guy was fending off my attempts to steal all of his.

I don't remember the name of this, but I do remember it was delicious and I wanted to steal the whole thing.

I don’t remember the name of this, but I do remember it was delicious and I wanted to steal the whole thing.

To sum up: get your ass to Trident.  They are definitely busy at standard meal times, so there will be a wait that may cause you to buy books you didn’t plan on getting if you come then.  If you show up at 7pm on a Wednesday like we did it will be about 3/4 full and you may even score a booth seat.

Also all their juices are fresh squeezed and amazing, so do yourself a huge fucking favor and have one of their hippy-ster juice blend things no matter how weird they sound.  Their tea selection is also excellent.  They’re also open 8am to midnight every day, so it is an excellent place to scratch your brunch itch even at the strangest times.

Veggie Galaxy – Cambridge, MA

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Veggie Galaxy

 

Talls and I stepped off our plane from Brazil in Boston, went straight to the Silver Line (not checking bags is the greatest of things), to the Red Line, to Central Square, to have brunch here.  It was amazing and delicious and entirely worth staving off jet lagged napping for.  How I have avoided posting about this place I have no fucking clue, but I shall fix this oversight posthaste.

Now, Veggie Galaxy is a vegetarian restaurant.  It is also a dinner.  It also serves brunch all day every day.  Stop botching about their lack of meat and go stuff your face with their amazing food.

Great coffee plus amazing frappe = welcome home!

Great coffee plus amazing frappe = welcome home!

Veggie Galaxy makes frappes.  Really fucking good frappes.  Frappes with coconut milk.  We went with one of our standbys, chocolate banana.  It was appropriately delicious.

Stuffed French Toast. Go read the description on their menu. It's an orgasm on a plate.

Stuffed French Toast. Go read the description on their menu. It’s an orgasm on a plate.

I had the best goddamn french toast they offer, like I am wont to.  Allllll of that and they give you real maple syrup without question.  This place makes me forget I like bacon with breakfast.  Which is good because their fake bacon (tempeh) is not so good.  The seitan chorizo is a very tasty meat substitute if you’re looking for that, though.

Talls' Mass Ave omelete. Also stuffed with fucking deliciousness.

Talls’ Mass Ave omelete. Also stuffed with fucking deliciousness.

It was a food stuffed with food sort of morning for us.  And yes, we were ravenous when we got there, but this is not the first time we’ve dined and been delighted.  Get you ass to this diner!

How good is it? It's so good I forgot to eat my syrup.

How good is it? It’s so good I forgot to eat my syrup.

How to Brunch without Fucking Up

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A few easy tips and admonishments to improve your brunching experience:

  1. Know your area.  How can you know where the good restaurants are if you don’t?  Do some research to help expand your knowledge.  Places like The Internet can tell you a bajillion useful things, such as how awesome other people think your local diner is and that it closed three years ago.  Wandering around town and complaining about a lack of brunch places is not an acceptable substitute for this.
  2. Avoid the rush. One of the biggest complaints I’ve seen about brunch is that the wait is soooooo long because hipsters and their damn skinny jeans took my spot!  Dude, regardless of how tight the jeans on the forty people in front of you in line are, they are all there for the same reason: tasty food.  Do not go at peak brunch time (often a 11) and then bitch about other people wanting to eat.  Go back to the internet, see when the place opens, and next time go earlier or later.  Yelp posters will definitely tell you when no tables will be free just as surely as someone will give a great place one star because their water was only refilled fifty times.
  3. Know your allergies and dietary needs. Brunch is fab but very high in gluten, allergens, and meat.  Again, internet it and possibly call ahead if you have serious dining concerns to make sure your chosen restaurant can feed you safely as well as deliciously.
  4. Try new shit. I know my other points can be boiled down to “Seriously, look at the internet first,” but this one lies within each of us.  Loosen up.  Try a new place.  Try a new meal!  Be prepared to love it, hate it, or forever have a new embarrassing story to tell you friends. Go as slow as blueberry and banana pancakes or all the way to the french toast burger.  But seriously, try something new every so often.

And for the love of challah, stop complaining about things that you can easily fix with the supercomputer in your pocket.

I Have Maple-Flavored Feelings

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There are a million things that can go wrong in the world, and many of them occur at brunch.  Long lines, small tables, and non-perfect food.  No one eats breakfast/lunch food out if it’s not going to be perfect, guys.  We can all make pancakes and sandwiches, can’t we?  If we wanted non-perfect food, we’d stay home.  We go out to brunch for the awesome.  For the amazing.  For the they-really-put-all-those-things-in-one-thing? turning out to be the BEST FOODSTUFF EVER.  Or maybe we just go out for really good eggs in the company of hipsters and kitsch.

Regardless, as a New Englander I feel strongly that the worst brunch faux pass is not having real maple syrup.

High fructose corn syrup with “maple flavoring” is NOT maple syrup people.  For some, it is a travesty because corn subsidies and it makes you fat or whatever else.  This is not my point.  Mine is that maple syrup is the nectar of the breakfast gods and I refuse to eat your dry-ass pancakes without some liquid nirvana making them palatable.  Real syrup upgrades BACON.  I come to brunch for many things, but first among them is the boiled-down blood of the sugar maple.  If I am not one step away from being a tree vampire, it is not brunch time.  That makes it lunch time, because at least with a grilled cheese sandwich I do not feel inherently betrayed by the lack of syrup.  I am also not a fan of paying extra for real syrup, but as long as it’s not five bucks I’ll do it because I know the good stuff costs.

Also: Grade B is the best grade and we other New England states have let Vermonters pull the maple wool over our eyes for too long.  And they know their syrup.  They want fake syrup passed off as the real thing to be a prosecutable offense.