Everyone else instagrams their brunch so why the fuck shouldn’t I? Oh how low I’ve fallen. Eh. Follow @brunchthefuckup for pictures of clean plates and swearing. Maybe funny bathroom graffiti. But not normal food shit. That wouldn’t be me.
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Spot Cafe – Watertown, MA
They don’t have a website so the above link goes to their Yelp page.
All other opinions of France aside, they make some goddamn fabulous breakfast foods. Spot Cafe has attempted to bring those tasty ass pastries to suburb town, Massachusetts, and succeeded well. Also, they covered a tiny space with teapots for decoration and sale. Cause why the fuck not?
In honor of this, I’m going to translate my entire post into French. Using the internet. Maybe some other languages too. And then translate it back into English. May this fuckery add to your blog-consumption experience. The top paragraphs will be my original words, and the paragraph after the —– will be the translation garbled bullshit. Have fun!
I like waffles. I like fresh strawberries. I like whipped cream. I like Nutella. Spot Cafe combined all these things perfectly, slapped them on a plate, and put them in front of me after serving me some lovely coffee. Appreciate them and their charmingly bitchy regular customers we got to over hear in the tiiiiiiiny space that is this restaurant.
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I like waffles. I love fresh strawberries. I want whipped cream. I love Nutella . Spot Cafe combination of all these things perfectly , slapped on a plate and put them in front of me , talk to me after some nice coffee. And charm regular customers appreciate bitch we hear in space tiiiiiiiny this restaurant.
talk to me after some nice coffee
Talls opted for an omelette full of tasty things like cheese and veggies, and it was everything it was promised to be. The home fries were also delicious and well seasoned. Since things like this hella tasty thing exists I have no fucking clue why one of the Yelp reviews is bitching about a lack of non-carb things. ALSO, why the fuck do you go to a French brunch place for dishes without bread products. FRANCE IS MADE OF BUNS YOU ASS.
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Toll opted for an omelette filled with tasty things like cheese and vegetables, and that was all it promised to be. The chips are tasty and well seasoned . Since things like Hella Good thing I do is Fuxing thought that one of the Criticisms Yelp is bittshing about a shortage of things - notch . Also, what the fuck - you go to a place of French Branch dishes without cakes. France buns you ass.
France buns you ass.
As you can see in the above picture I added bacon as a side, and Talls got his usual sausage. Or at least, he thought that was what he was going to get. He reported they were nummy despite looking like a kind of a disturbing-ass mess.
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As you can see in the picture above I added bacon as a group , and I 'm cuts his usual sausage . Or at least he thought that was what I was going to get . Nummy reported that although it seems a lot of the type of anxiety disorder - Oslo .
anxiety disorder – Oslo
In conclusion: good food, good coffee, good juice, teapots for sale. Nothing to do with Oslo.
Not About Goddamned Brunch
I’m sorry I’ve been an asshole and not posted anything for way too long. I’ll be on vacation next week so I hope to make it all up to you bastards then. In the meantime, if you’re in the USA tomorrow is midterm elections! Please use this appropriately profane website to figure out where the fuck you should go to vote:
Where’s My Fucking Polling Place?
I’ll resume posting pictures of my food soon, bitches!
Five Horses Tavern – Davis Square, Somerville, MA
I think basically the only reason I’m going to be somewhat meh on Five Horses in this review is that I ate here in the wrong order. One of our friends had recommended brunch both here and at the Painted Burro, stating that they were both good but that the Burro kind of blew this place out of the water. Like fools Talls and I went to the Burro first, and after that amazing food-based love affair were kind of spoiled for other Davis Square brunches that were trying to be in a similar league. If I’d done Five Horses first I feel like I would’ve liked them more because I wouldn’t have been having flash backs to fucking candied bacon. Let’s be honest: no one can compete with that.
kfc-style chicken breast, bacon marmalade, fried egg, cheddar, frisée. cornichons, creole mustard on toasted waffles with fruit salad
I got the breakfast club, which was a club-style sandwich thing made out of breakfast foods. I ended up having to take some of the layers apart to eat it without making a giant mess, but it was delicious all the same. The do some very fine fried chicken at this place.
black beans, eggs, potatoes, carrots, scallions, jalapenos, red peppers, served in a fried tortilla with salsa, guacamole and goat cheese sour cream
Talls got the Chimichanga which was much less blurry in real life. My phone camera skills have been lost! It was full of tasty things as advertised.
So yeah, the food was good, there was a tiny line when it opened (Like six people for a huge place. I am usually a line stickler and there was a woman in front of us who was all “I believe we got here first!” and I rolled my eyes at her back because seriously, there are plenty of seats and every damn one of us is going to be served at the same time. This is a time when lines do not matter.), and services was nice a quick. But it was not the Painter Burro, and this made me sad.
Even more Madrona Tree
Fuck I love the brunch at this place. I have officially come to terms with having to get there before 11am even on a Sunday. That is how much I love this brunch. So here, have some more gratuitous food pictures.
How am I supposed to eat anything but the Falcon Eggs Benedict? HOW????
Okay, so everything else is awesome too.
Actual posts will resume post haste.
Acitron Cocina Mexicana – Arlington, MA
When the Talls and I first moved into this area, we immediately went on the hunt for a regular brunch place. We were shocked to find none we liked within walking distance. This was before Madrona Tree started to do brunch (although their hours are still fucking short. Who the hell stops breakfast food at 11am on a Sunday!?), and we were bereft. Where would I get my french toast fix? Who would ply us with sausage and bacon? It was all very sad, especially since Somerville and its fabulous collection of brunch places were right fucking there and we had easy access to both a car and buses. But we sobbed anyway. It was really pathetic. It did lead to the creation of the Brunch it Yourself shit though, so that was good.
But lo, the Internet did say that a fancy-great Mexican place nearby had a great brunch! We were skeptical, but desperate. So off we went to Acitron, which has since become our local brunch go-to. Isn’t that always how these melodramatic stories go?
Huevos Benedictos – please note the inclusion of an ENTIRE avocado.
Acitron’s food is great and the staff are fabulous. They tend towards the savory and you can even get a really great omelet with cactus in it. There’s still crepes and french toast, but I haven’t even tried that yet because their egg-based concoctions are JUST SO GOOD. Also, every plate gets tasty fresh fruit as a side, and how can I say no to that?
Fresh made tamale! So delicious she forgot to eat her black beans.
There’s some fab hash under all that egg.
Learn from me, brunchies: don’t be afraid to go to a restaurant that makes no intuitive sense as a brunch place. It may just be the greatest brunch place of all.
Brunch the Fuck Up 