Monthly Archives: April 2014

Hipster Tendencies – Brunch Clothing and Apparel

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Thinking over what other silly posts I could put together to make my brunch tattoo post less lonely, I decided to just start Google Image searching random shit along with the word “brunch.”  Somewhere fairly early on in this fuckery I looked for “brunch clothes.”  Mostly it was pictures of either glorified PJs or dresses so fancy I wouldn’t wear them to a black tie event in case they got ruined.  What would I wear to my next white tie ball?  Can you believe there’s such a thing as fucking white tie?  That seriously feels like cosplay to me, it’s so alien.  Anyway, back to brunch.

Somewhere in my scrolling, I saw this shirt:

They’re such good friends they want to be masticated together.

And clicked the link.  And found this page:

I shouldn’t be surprised, but I really am.  And pretty amused.  So if you need something to go with your bazillion dollar dress, please slap on one of these tees to protect it from syrup drips.

Brunch it Yourself – Buttermilk

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The key to good, fluffy-as-fuck pancakes is buttermilk.  Buttermilk is, at it’s heart curdled milk.  It’s super easy to make and there’s basically no reason to pony up for the pre-ruined stuff.  Here are a few simple but fab tips for making your own buttermilk AND non-dairy buttermilk:

  • You can sour your milk with basically anything acidic, but I prefer lemon or lime juice.  It goes fast and doesn’t give your pancakes a sour taste.  The most common alternative to this is vinegar.
  • Ratios for lemon or lime juice: 3/4 cup milk, 2 tablespoons juice.
  • Ratios for vinegar: 1 cup milk, 1 tablespoon vinegar.
  • Fat content in the milk does not matter.  I use 1% because I want skim and my partner wants full fat, but do whatever youse feel.
  • You can sour soy milk with the same ratios listed above!  The pancakes will be slightly less fluffy, but still wonderful.  I am more than happy to have this when a non-dairy friend comes by.

Take these notes and go out and make amazing, fucking fluffy pancakes.  You can never go wrong with these at a bitchin’ American brunch!

 

Trail’s End Cafe – Concord, MA

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Trail’s End Cafe

Trail’s End is a newer, smaller place than Helen’s that’s way nicer than what was here before.  Also, the nail place above the Rite Aid in the same complex is owned and operated by a lovely group of ladies.

Trail’s End is pretty, but their selection is small and their prices higher than I’d like.  What they have, though, is goddamn fucking delicious.

This is French Toast Bread Pudding. I have now died from glee.

This is Apple-Cinnamon Baked French Toast, which is essentially a drier bread pudding. I have now died from glee.

If you have read any other posts here you know of my extreme french toast problem, and thus would be unsurprised I barely glanced at the menu before settling on this.  And then, when it arrived, it got better.  I looooooove bread pudding.  Carbs and sugar bitches!  And this?  This was the delicious lovechild of french toast and bread pudding if bread-based food reproduced like cats and so apple pie managed to get some genes in there.  EAT THIS NOW.

This quiche is so tasty it basically jumps into your face unaided.

This quiche is so tasty it basically jumps into your face unaided.

The generally have a selection of quiche, but Talls went for bacon and mushroom.  Can you tell he has a Ph.D.?  What can I say, I like my men brilliant.  This quiche was the right texture, right amount salty, and packed with bacon and mushrooms.  They tried to balance it with fresh fruit, but of course he and I balanced it with my meal instead.  So they absolutely nailed both the sweet and the savory.

In conclusion, the food was great but as it’s not in my immediate area, has a smaller food selection, and costs more than most brunch places I don’t think I’ll be back a ton.  Definitely worth a stop if you’re passing through though!

 

Helen’s Restaurant – Concord, MA

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Helen’s Restaurant – no website, goes to Yelp! page.

I grew up in Concord, and still remember when this place was Brigham’s.  Alas, there is but one Brigham’s left – the original in Arlington, MA.  Helen’s replaced Brigham’s a while back, and makes some very tasty food.  I also can’t speak highly enough about their raspberry lime rickies, the very first carbonated beverage I actually liked.

Okay, enough fucking nostalgia.  On to the brunch!

 

The food was so good I forgot to take pictures before I started eating.

The food was so good I forgot to take pictures before I started eating.

 

I was out with Talls and a friend, and if one of them hadn’t reminded me I wouldn’t have even snapped these photos.  The blueberry pancakes were lovely, as was my requisite real maple syrup.  I also enjoyed my bacon, which was thicker than other places and still wonderfully crunchy.

The homefries were gigantic and wonderful.

The home fries were gigantic and wonderful.

The plates were huge and so were the portions.  The coffee is very much diner coffee, which I more than enjoyed.  Talls, the non-coffee citrus connoisseur, reported that the orange juice was delicious.

Seriously forgot to snap pictures.

Seriously forgot to snap pictures.

Key things to note:

  • This place gets busy fast when the local churches let out, so basically after 11 it’s a mad house on Sundays.  If you’re willing to wait you’ll be well taken care of – the waitresses are all pros who know how to make a packed house run smooth.
  • Many families with small children means it can get loud and kid-like.  I’ve never had a problem with this, but if kids around at all isn’t your thing this place may not work for you.
  • This place is CASH ONLY.  There are plenty of ATMs walkably nearby in town.

If you’re in the area to Walden Pond or North Bridge it and it’s brunch time, hit this place up for some great down home dinner food.

 

Acitron Cocina Mexicana – Arlington, MA

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Acitron Cocina Mexicana

When the Talls and I first moved into this area, we immediately went on the hunt for a regular brunch place.  We were shocked to find none we liked within walking distance.  This was before Madrona Tree started to do brunch (although their hours are still fucking short.  Who the hell stops breakfast food at 11am on a Sunday!?), and we were bereft.  Where would I get my french toast fix?  Who would ply us with sausage and bacon?  It was all very sad, especially since Somerville and its fabulous collection of brunch places were right fucking there and we had easy access to both a car and buses.  But we sobbed anyway.  It was really pathetic.  It did lead to the creation of the Brunch it Yourself shit though, so that was good.

But lo, the Internet did say that a fancy-great Mexican place nearby had a great brunch!  We were skeptical, but desperate.  So off we went to Acitron, which has since become our local brunch go-to.  Isn’t that always how these melodramatic stories go?

Huevos Benedictos - please note the inclusion of an ENTIRE avocado.

Huevos Benedictos – please note the inclusion of an ENTIRE avocado.

Acitron’s food is great and the staff are fabulous.  They tend towards the savory and you can even get a really great omelet with cactus in it.  There’s still crepes and french toast, but I haven’t even tried that yet because their egg-based concoctions are JUST SO GOOD.  Also, every plate gets tasty fresh fruit as a side, and how can I say no to that?

Fresh made tamale! So delicious she forgot to eat her black beans.

Fresh made tamale! So delicious she forgot to eat her black beans.

There's some fab hash under all that egg.

There’s some fab hash under all that egg.

Learn from me, brunchies: don’t be afraid to go to a restaurant that makes no intuitive sense as a brunch place.  It may just be the greatest brunch place of all.