The Ball Square Cafe – Somerville, MA

Ball Square Cafe

Holy fuck there are lines at this place.  There are so often lines there were fucking heaters in the awning above our line.  The coffee is self serve even when you sit down partially to let line-standers drink coffee while they wait.  If you hate lines this is not the brunch for you.  On the plus side: this place has heaters and coffee for you when you stand in line, so as waiting outside for a table at a brunch place goes, it’s pretty damn comfortable.  My little party of three waited for about 20 minutes for a table at 10:45am on a Sunday.  We were attempting to arrive early to skip the wait when we did this, and were clearly utter fools.  Ah well.  Ball Square Cafe is small, but they apparently own a deli next door that was being used only for overflow seating when we went.

Seriously though, coffee in line!

Seriously though, coffee in line!

I didn’t mind the line too much with my purple marshmallow coat, coffee, and lovely people to chat with.  The wait also gave us time to decide what we were all going to have before we sat down, so we got our food pretty quickly.  Our waitress was awesome and memorized my order when I told it to my friends so they could order for me while I ran to get a coffee refill.

I, as I am sure you are shocked to hear, went for the french toast.  A pear and goat cheese french toast, to be exact.  They have many delicious-sounding options, but I’ve never heard of a stuffing quite like this.  The slices were ginormous and I only finished two of them.  I completed the delicious meal with real maple syrup and bacon.

Those white lumps are Cool Whip.  :(  Not my store-bought whipped cream of choice.

Those white lumps are Cool Whip. 😦 Not my store-bought whipped cream of choice.

My friends had the Eggs Benedict with Hash and the Caramelized Banana with Walnuts Belgian Waffle, which I sampled and were both lovely.  Their eyes were a better size in comparison to their stomachs, so they were able to finish their meals.  I, on the other hand, got to take my last slice home in an adorable container and relive this glorious experience as part of lunch on Monday.

So many noms, you guys.

So many noms, you guys.

I recommend this place unless you can’t deal with lines without whining constantly/breaking into hives/flipping the fuck out.  They have a picture of one of their lines as a header on their website.  A line is going to happen here.  But for those who are willing to chat standing up for a bit, it will be well worth it.

The Burren – Somerville, MA (Davis Square)

The Burren

Pub Brunches are to be found all over the place, I’m sure, but I associate them closely with Boston and its surrounding towns because that’s where I’ve eaten them most frequently.  I also spent a year of undergrad in Lancashire, England, so I have some pub brunch feelings left over from that.  Basically I would like there to be a lot of meat on the menu.

The Burren in Davis Square is an Irish pub that has benches and tables that remind me strongly of my week in Dublin.  They do great food, drink, and music during non-brunch times, and some pretty solid brunch Saturday and Sunday mornings.  They are also THE place to go in this area for a full Irish breakfast.  What is a full Irish breakfast you ask?  From their website:

  • 2 Irish rashers
  • 1 Irish sausage
  • black & white pudding
  • 2 eggs
  • grilled tomato
  • Irish baked beans
  • Irish brown bread

Neither I nor my lovely brunching companion order this as we and our stomachs are small.  But if you’re a tall person with lots of space in your legs, please order this and chow down.  I’ve stolen parts of this from others, and it is all delicious.

The Farmhouse Omelette

The Farmhouse Omelette: cheddar cheese, ham, onion, tomato, and onion

Although they have french toast I decided to branch out and go omelette.  It was delicious and perfectly cooked.  I didn’t even touch the toast and potatoes because the omelette filled me up so well.  The Burren is a place to arrive hungry.

The Black Bean Burrito: Scrambled eggs, black beans, onion, green pepper, spinach, avocado & salsa, rolled into a fresh tortilla & served with homefries or grilled mash

The Black Bean Burrito: Scrambled eggs, black beans, onion, green pepper, spinach, avocado & salsa, rolled into a fresh tortilla & served with homefries or grilled mash

My friend went for the above, and although I didn’t steal a bite whilst challenging myself to defeat my omelette, I have it on good authority that it was super tasty and also very filling.  Said friend is an avocado authority, so if they gave this a thumbs up they definitely nailed that aspect.

They also have a kids menu (with a mini Irish breakfast!), french toast and pancakes both come automatically with real maple syrup, and vegetarian dishes.  As far as I can tell, all of the servers also have real Irish accents.  I’ve always gotten great service here, and that combined with lovely food makes this a nice place to grab a simple but very filling brunch.

Brunch it Yourself – Crepes

When I want to feel I’m eating a fancy brunch, I make crepes.  They’re super easy, very versatile, and since they aren’t something most Americans have grown up eating they seem more lavish than other breakfasty brunch foods.  Note: if you are feeding English people this will not work, as crepes are their standard pancakes.  Which means they have crepe stands in major cities where you can just walk up and get a fresh, delicious crepe for lunch or something.  Dicks.  Why the fuck did that not come over on the Mayflower?

Ingredients: (this amount feeds two adults)

  • 1 cup flour
  • 2 eggs
  • 1/2 cup water
  • 1/2 cup milk/dairy substitute
  • 2 tablespoons butter/oil
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
Ingredients!

Ingredients!

Tools:

  • mixing bowl
  • whisk
  • 1/4 cup measure
  • low edged pan (ideally small)
The perfect crepe pan.

The perfect crepe pan.

  1. Whisk flour and eggs together.  They will clump.  This is fine.
  2. Slowly add water and milk to eggs and flour.  There will be much less clumping, but still a few lumps here and there.  This is not considered perfect for a crepe, but I like the texture so I keep them in.
  3. Melt butter.  Mix salt into butter.  Pour butter and salt into the rest of the batter and stir.
  4. Set the stove to medium and wait to put batter in until a little water flicked in sizzles on the pan.  I never have to grease my pan due to the butter content in the crepes themselves, but if you want to do so sparingly.
  5. Use the 1/4 cup measure to pour batter into the pan.  Then pick up the pan and slowly move it so that the thin batter coats the entire bottom surface. Replace pan on stove.
  6. When the edges of the crepe curl up, flip it.  The second side will take roughly a minute or two to cook.
  7. Place finished crepe on a plate and repeat steps 5 and 6 til you use up your batter.  You can stack finished crepes right off the stove as they won’t stick together.
A finished pile of crepes.

A finished pile of crepes.

Now comes the fun part: what will you put inside them?  My giant sweet tooth means I always have at least one jam and nutella as an option.  Anything that goes on toast well goes in a crepe.  Fresh fruit and nuts also work well.  If you want to go savory get some shredded cheese, meat, veggies, or cooked eggs.  Cheddar, apples, ham, and a fried egg is one of my favorites.

Nutella, Strawberry Jam, Crystalized Honey, and cooked down grapefruit were the options today.

Nutella, Strawberry Jam, Crystalized Honey, and cooked down grapefruit were the options today.

Fill, roll, enjoy!

Le Om Nom Nom!

Le Om Nom Nom!

The Madrona Tree – Arlington, MA

The Madrona Tree

I’d already been here for sandwiches and their great, made-on-the-spot sodas, but this fall they started including a breakfast/brunch menu and so I had to return.  Seriously, this is the list of their standard sodas: blue-raspberry, raspberry-lime, lemon-lime, strawberry, strawberry-basil, and blackberry-mint.  When I went for brunch, their seasonal option was maple.  They had already earned a gold star with their drinks.

Red Sox French Toast

Red Sox French Toast

They have a good range of sweet and savory, and some very tasty twists on brunchy standards.  They’re all Boston or Arlington themed as is so common here, but regardless they are good.  The above contains apple, berry, cream cheese, and crumb topping.  Also, all french toast comes with real syrup, and both the toasts and the pancakes can be made gluten free.

A scramble, a.k.a. egg-containing pile of food

A scramble, a.k.a. egg-containing pile of food

Many of their dishes have a slight Mediterranean take on things due to the origins of the family who owns the place.  I think they do a good job of making this work.

This lured me away from french toast.  So worth it.

This lured me away from french toast. So worth it.

At other times they just go crazy with their variations on breakfast themes (this is an eggs Benedict variant) and those are super tasty as well.  Those who prefer old standards will not be as happy here as those who want to branch out, but there are still options for the classic brunchers here and there.

It’s a little small so it fills up fast, but they do have a clip board so you can get in line on there instead of in person.  During the summer they double their seating with some lovely tables outside that also get service.

Brunch it Yourself – BrokeAss Gourmet

I am not a good creator of recipes, which is why I have the allrecipes app on both my phone and my iPad.  I am also not a good creator of podcasts, which is why I listen to Read it and Weep.  It has little to do with brunch (although they have come out in favor of it,) but it did have the blogger behind BrokeAss Gourmet on twice for Hunger Games stuff, and she was both hilarious and culinary.  This led me to go to her site, and I am now addicted to her recipes.  She shows how to make fantastic food on a budget, and generally fairly quickly.  Any time I can’t think of a meal, I pick an ingredient and look it up on brokeassgourmet.com.

Gabi M is so awesome she even has a tag for brunch. Let’s look at what’s on that list:

Go there.  Make these things.  Eat them.  And if you like to listen to comics make witty fun of bad books, movies, and TV shows, listen to Read It and Weep while you do these things.

Mike’s City Diner – Boston, MA

Do you need vast amounts of omelet in the South End of Boston and you’re willing to wait in line for great food?  If so, Mike’s City Diner is the brunch niche for you.  It has also been reported to me that their lunch on weekdays is grand, but I cannot speak to this.  Brunch on the weekend here is breakfast only.

Mike’s serves you an amazing amount of food.

Mike's City Diner french toast

This is a SMALL serving.

The french toast is also delivered in the above stick/slab form, which is glorious.  The white glob on the right is a plastic container filled with butter, which always upside down on your bread product for easy of application.

Mike’s specializes in the egg side of the breakfast spectrum, and if you like a wide array of omelets this is an excellent place to eat.  They have their standards, like the Southender.

A gigantic classic.

A gigantic classic.

And their specials, like the Cambridge.

Seriously, there's an entire avocado on that thing.

Seriously, there’s an entire avocado on that thing.

Starch fiend that I am, I went for the belgian waffle buried under a pile of fresh fruit.

With real maple syrup on the side, of course.

With real maple syrup on the side, of course.

That bacon in the background was also mine, since protein is an import part of starting one’s day.  It was that thin, crispy, diner bacon, and it was excellent.

Mike’s always has a line because it’s so good and also rather small.  The meals they serve are entirely worth the wait in my mind, but if you think lines are the worst thing ever then this may not be the joint for you.  It’s not too bad especially if you go early, but at 11am on a Sunday my party of four sat in about 30 to 45 minutes.  Really, just go by yourself and grab a counter space or have friends you can talk to for the extra time.  You will be buried in delicious food and so glad you did.

Chelsea Royal Diner – West Brattleboro, VT

Chelsea Royal Diner

I’ll admit that I didn’t go too far out of my comfort zone when I went here: I saw French Toast Cinnamon Buns and there I stopped.  They were amazing.  Literally cinnamon buns cut in half and soaked in egg before being slapped on the griddle, they were every bit the sugar shock I was expecting.  The bacon was crispy and the maple syrup was, of course, fantastically real.  This was a special and may not be available now, but the omelets and poached eggs my companions had were also lovely.  Basically everything breakfast here gets a thumbs up from me.

So tasty I forgot to take a picture.

So tasty I forgot to take a picture.

There was very little wait when we were there, although it is a bit small so I imagine that happens during busier times.  The waitstaff was fast moving and attentive, and the coffee is full-on diner.  This place has been around for a while, but seems to have branched out and stepped up its food game from ten years ago.  Everything they serve is local and fresh, and they will usually tell you exactly what farm in what town it hails from.  There was a good mix of local regulars, families, and hip youngsters in attendance, and that speaks well of a place in my mind.  They also had quite the dessert menu, and I feel strongly I’ll have to come back to experience this.

In conclusion, if you’re even vaguely in the area, get your ass to the Chelsea Royal and brunch it up.

Seriously good food.

Seriously good food.